Hi, friends! We are so excited to share our first guest blog with you today! Stephanie and I have known each other via the Internet since we found each other in the WTE March 2013 birth club. We want to thank her 100x for being so vulnerable, and sharing her heart and story with all of us. It has greatly touched Rhea and I, and hope it moves you too. 

We will let Stephanie take it from here. 

Xoxo, Karissa 

In December of 2012, at 8 months pregnant, I woke up and something wasn’t right. I got ready for work and my stomach hurt so bad that I couldn’t really stand up straight. I had a C-section with my first daughter so I didn’t know if this was labor or what. I went to the hospital and was told that I probably had a kidney stone. While waiting for testing and imaging, the tone of the room changed when they could no longer find her heart beat on the monitor. They brought in some doctors and a sonogram machine when it was determined that her heart was barely beating. They rushed me for an emergency surgery, where we both coded and had to be brought back to life. Unfortunately, our sweet Colette was brain dead from all of the trauma. We gave her all of the tests and all of the time that we could before it was determined that there was nothing there and the “best option” was to end life support. It wasn’t until after surgery that I was diagnosed with complete placental abruption.  There are a lot of details and a lot more to the story but that’s not the point I wanted to get across. Here is the point. Did I fail as a mother? Should I have known what was going on? I spent so much time blaming myself, blaming others and even questioning god as to why this had to happen. You have such big ideas as a mother. I was planning their matching outfits. Picturing them being best friends. Anticipating the fights and screaming. Instead we were left with plans for cremation, a funeral service and telling our child about death and heaven. None of its fair, but life’s not fair. We were never promised to not have suffering in this life.  

I hope that by sharing this story we can take a moment to hug our children. Acknowledge that we are truly blessed with what we DO have, not what we “SHOULD” have. Things can change in a moments time, so love your children and spouses every minute of every day. 

Community

Before  Karissa and I started this blog we discussed what we had hoped to get out of it as a whole. We quickly agreed that our number one motive was to create a space where not only moms, but women of all ages and stages could gather together to share failures and victories, tips and tricks, life stories, and a good baked mac n cheese recipe every now and then. A sort of community, if you will.

The thing we have found most incredible about social media is how easy it is to relate and connect to complete strangers. It never fails that every time we go online we find a post or blog or YouTube video that connects with us in one way or another. Which got us thinking. Every single person has a story to tell, but not everyone wants to spend the time each week to maintain a blog. So, what if we used this space to not only tell our own stories, but all of the stories that desire to be told. Yes, combined, Kris and I have been through quite a few unique life experiences and have some damn good recipes up our sleeves, but only sharing things from our lives kinda goes against our whole 'community' dreams. What an amazing place this little blog could be if we shared all of the stories you guys have to tell as well. Doing such a thing could make way for some major connectivity, which makes us so excited and optimistic.

Whether it's a funny memory, a life changing event, a favorite recipe, beauty tip, or product that you are just dying to share with others, we want to hear it and are confident that others do too. Email us your stories at themamamonologues@gmail.com and if you have any ideas on how to get our 'community blog' idea rolling, let us know.

xxR