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Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Hi, friends! We are so excited to share our first guest blog with you today! Stephanie and I have known each other via the Internet since we found each other in the WTE March 2013 birth club. We want to thank her 100x for being so vulnerable, and sharing her heart and story with all of us. It has greatly touched Rhea and I, and hope it moves you too. 
We will let Stephanie take it from here. 
Xoxo, Karissa 

In December of 2012, at 8 months pregnant, I woke up and something wasn’t right. I got ready for work and my stomach hurt so bad that I couldn’t really stand up straight. I had a C-section with my first daughter so I didn’t know if this was labor or what. I went to the hospital and was told that I probably had a kidney stone. While waiting for testing and imaging, the tone of the room changed when they could no longer find her heart beat on the monitor. They brought in some doctors and a sonogram machine when it was determined that her heart was barely beating. They rushed me for an emergency surgery, where we both coded and had to be brought back to life. Unfortunately, our sweet Colette was brain dead from all of the trauma. We gave her all of the tests and all of the time that we could before it was determined that there was nothing there and the “best option” was to end life support. It wasn’t until after surgery that I was diagnosed with complete placental abruption.  There are a lot of details and a lot more to the story but that’s not the point I wanted to get across. Here is the point. Did I fail as a mother? Should I have known what was going on? I spent so much time blaming myself, blaming others and even questioning god as to why this had to happen. You have such big ideas as a mother. I was planning their matching outfits. Picturing them being best friends. Anticipating the fights and screaming. Instead we were left with plans for cremation, a funeral service and telling our child about death and heaven. None of its fair, but life’s not fair. We were never promised to not have suffering in this life.  

I hope that by sharing this story we can take a moment to hug our children. Acknowledge that we are truly blessed with what we DO have, not what we “SHOULD” have. Things can change in a moments time, so love your children and spouses every minute of every day. 


Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Community

Before  Karissa and I started this blog we discussed what we had hoped to get out of it as a whole. We quickly agreed that our number one motive was to create a space where not only moms, but women of all ages and stages could gather together to share failures and victories, tips and tricks, life stories, and a good baked mac n cheese recipe every now and then. A sort of community, if you will.

The thing we have found most incredible about social media is how easy it is to relate and connect to complete strangers. It never fails that every time we go online we find a post or blog or YouTube video that connects with us in one way or another. Which got us thinking. Every single person has a story to tell, but not everyone wants to spend the time each week to maintain a blog. So, what if we used this space to not only tell our own stories, but all of the stories that desire to be told. Yes, combined, Kris and I have been through quite a few unique life experiences and have some damn good recipes up our sleeves, but only sharing things from our lives kinda goes against our whole 'community' dreams. What an amazing place this little blog could be if we shared all of the stories you guys have to tell as well. Doing such a thing could make way for some major connectivity, which makes us so excited and optimistic.

Whether it's a funny memory, a life changing event, a favorite recipe, beauty tip, or product that you are just dying to share with others, we want to hear it and are confident that others do too. Email us your stories at themamamonologues@gmail.com and if you have any ideas on how to get our 'community blog' idea rolling, let us know.

xxR

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Karissa Explains It All

Sometimes I feel like being a stay at home mom is slowly killing my brain cells, but turns out I'm still a freaking profound thinker. Today I'm going to invite you into my brain, and share ten random thoughts I've had this past week.

1. Why are Peppa, George, and Mommy Pig sooooo effing mean to Daddy Pig. Like, enough with the fat jokes. YOURE ALL PIGS.
2. Don't get me wrong, mini vans are the shiz. But whoever invented automatic side doors forgot to take into account naughty three year olds who think it's hilarious to push the button and close it on their mom right as she comes around to buckle them in.
3. How has nobody created a candle that smells like newborn baby. Come on, Yankee. Get on that.
4. I'm not a socialist but I do firmly believe that avocados and Starbucks iced Honey Lattes should be free for everyone. Take my (husband's) tax money. I don't even care.
5. Speaking of socialism, does anyone really think they are going to change somebody's political beliefs via Facebook status? Because you probably won't.
6. Old Navy could save a ton of time and money by just making their adult women clothes the exact same as their toddler girl clothes because tbh I'm contemplating squeezing myself into Brielle's 3t rompers this season.
7. I expelled Brielle out of my lady bits, and birthed Eisley via csection like a boss, yet stubbing my toe sends me straight into the fetal position with complete certainty that I will never walk again. Why?
8. Would it be too much to ask Jake to carry me around in the Ergo? Because that would make trips to Home Depot much more enjoyable.
9. I could not be more appreciative of grocery store baggers who help me to my care, but I would like to take it one step further and suggest they help me all the way home to unload into the fridge. I'll tip.
10. I think I need to talk to more grown ups. Ok bye.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Call to Boy Mom

I can’t remember the last time I was up before the kids, but today I am. It’s six a.m. I’m showered, wearing my prettiest floral robe, and drinking a hot cup of coffee on the couch (almost forgot what it tasted like at this temperature). My windows are open, the sun's coming up, and the only sound I hear aside from the clicking of the keys as I type is the bird outside the window singing his morning song.

There’s something about mornings like this that put me in a state of reflection. Maybe it’s the crisp air against my cheek or the view of the sun rising up over the hills. Maybe it’s the unfamiliar sound of silence replacing the usual Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song playing in the background. Or maybe it’s the simple fact that I’m having a moment alone to actually hear myself think for once. Whatever it may be, as I sit here gazing out the window, I can’t help but reflect on my life. My purpose. My calling.

You see, it’s not something that I ever thought I’d be called to. And, if I’m being completely honest here, it’s not something that the pre-kid-me would have ever chosen. Don’t get me wrong, I have always dreamed of having and raising a little boy.

A.
As in one.
Uno.

Yes, one little man amongst a house full of bows, glitter, and clothes stealing sharing mini-me's running around singing Taylor Swift while twirling around in their pretty dresses. (Oh, the dresses). That was my dream; everything that I longed for. My hearts desire.

That is, until the day they laid my perfect six pound eleven ounce baby boy in my arms. It was as if my eyes had never truly seen until the day they met his, and in that instant my hopes and dreams completely changed.  I was officially a boy mom.

It’s true what they say about raising boys not being for the faint of heart.

If I had a quarter for every pet snail, worm, or rock that’s lived in our home the past three years we’d be rich. I’ve seen more bloody knees and busted lips than I had in the entire twenty-two years before them combined. Oh, and the sight of my kid pulling down his pants and peeing in the front yard no longer phases me (hey, we’re working on it).

The stereotypes of boys being loud and rowdy and stinky and gross are all true. Before Drew was born I was told on numerous occasions (mostly by strangers) how hard and terrifying raising boys was, and that, too, could not be more spot on. It is hard and it is terrifying, but not because they are loud and rowdy and stinky and gross, because, in reality, they are so, so much more than that. It’s hard because it's a huge responsibility, and is the biggest, most overwhelming task I’ve ever been given. God did not simply bless me with my two sons, He trusted me with them.

The fact that He looked at me and somehow saw me as worthy of raising these little boys up to be future husbands, fathers, friends, workers, and men of their word is beyond me and not something that I take lightly. It's huge. So huge that I often feel like He must have got it wrong. 

...But I know He didn’t.

I love those two little boys with every fiber of my being and wake up each day willing and ready to fulfill my call to boy mom the best that I can. How lucky am I that these little boys, who will one day be big, strong protectors, run into my arms to find comfort when they are scared and ask for my kisses when they are hurt. What an honor it is to have the responsibility of showing them how they deserve to be loved and treated now so that one day they will find a wife that loves and adores them just like their mama always has.

So, for now, I’ll trade my dreams of hair braiding and princesses for pet snails and Avengers. I’ll hold the soft tiny hands that will one day be rough and worn. I’ll watch as they run carefree before the worries of the world set in on their innocent minds. I’ll sleep with them in my arms until they find themselves in anothers. I’ll protect them until the day it’s their duty to protect their own family. And I’ll love them always.


For those of you who have been called to boy mom, I salute and applaud you for raising up these little boys to become men who will one day love those little girls we once dreamed of having (& maybe still hope to have). I'm thankful for this life, for the sun that's now fully risen, and for the calling that led me to the little boys who call me mama and fill my heart every single day.

I hope that you all have a blessed day and embrace your calling, whatever that may be. 






xx R



 
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